Solitude: Sometimes You Have to Go Inside

True Story — 8.18.26

(Higher Self in bold)

I'm scrolling through the TV guide...

Forensic Files. 🤔

"Okay...let's solve the case."

Scroll some more...

Unsolved Mysteries.

👀 Ohhhh yeah.

After finishing both shows—and obviously solving the cases in my mind 🙂😂—I noticed something.

I couldn't stop thinking about the stories.

Remember why you stopped watching shows like this? You absorb the trauma like it's yours.

🤔🤔🤔

She had a point.

I started thinking about the past few days and realized I'd been entertaining a LOT of negativity, especially on social media.

🚫 PAUSE. 🚫

Why am I doing this?

What's really going on?

You already know. You've been here before.

Do I dare say it?

Depression. 🥺

My first reaction was denial.

"Wait...when I was depressed back in the day, I drank and cried. I'm not doing either of those things."

True. But look at what you ARE doing. You're entertaining low-vibrational things and starting to become comfortable there.

😔

Ouch.

But she was right.

I was sleeping nine or ten hours.

I was waking between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning feeling like I needed to go outside.

I wasn't feeling like myself.

And deep down...

I knew it.

Time to Go Inside

That's when I decided that beginning 8.22.26, I was going into solitude.

I call it:

Going Inside.

For me, that meant pulling back from everything so I could figure out what was happening within myself.

No social media.

No hanging out.

No unnecessary phone calls.

No constant communication.

Just...

Me.

Six years ago, that idea would've terrified me.

I've stayed in relationships longer than I should have simply because I was afraid of my own company.

Now?

I knew solitude was exactly what I needed.

I sent an email to Niel and Goddess Alicia letting them know I needed some time to get myself together.

Then, when my husband left for work, I sat.

No music.

No television.

Just me...

And the AC. 😂

Eventually, my Higher Self asked:

What's wrong?

🥺

"I'm not where I want to be in life."

"I want more."

"I feel stagnant."

There it was.

The truth.

Patience, Aisha

My Higher Self answered:

Patience, Aisha.

Not everything happens according to your timeline. Take this opportunity to practice gratitude for what you DO have.

You're learning patience.

You're learning how to love unconditionally.

And whether you realize it or not, your writing has helped people.

Keep going.

Things will work themselves out.

My response?

"But..."

😂

No buts.

Patience, Aisha.

And if I'm keeping it 💯, I didn't like how I'd been feeling.

I also knew something was wrong when I started gravitating toward those shows and negative content again.

Of course, Ego had an explanation:

"Nahhh, you're good. You're just switching things up. Besides...when was the last time you solved a case?"

😂😂😂

Nice try, Ego.

What Solitude Gave Me

Every Day, I got up and intentionally spent time alone.

I practiced breath work.

I started working out again.

I sat with my thoughts instead of trying to drown them out with noise.

And slowly, things started making sense.

Solitude gave me the space to examine my recent actions and, more importantly, understand why I was doing them.

That's why I call it Going Inside.

Because sometimes the answers we're desperately searching for everywhere else aren't out there.

They're already inside us.

Today is 8.27.26.

Originally, I said I wasn't coming back until September 1st.

But here I am...

Writing. 💚

Once I acknowledged what I was feeling, broke it down, and started working through it, I realized I didn't need to disappear until some arbitrary date.

I felt compelled to write.

So I listened.

I'm not going to intentionally keep myself away from something that helps me feel like myself simply because I picked a date on a calendar.

Solitude Isn't Isolation

There's an important difference.

For me, solitude was intentional.

I wasn't trying to hide from life.

I was creating enough quiet to hear myself again.

Sometimes we need that.

But if you're experiencing persistent sadness, major changes in sleep, hopelessness, or other symptoms that aren't improving, solitude doesn't have to mean handling everything alone. Reaching out to someone you trust or a mental-health professional can be part of taking care of yourself too.

Going inside doesn't mean shutting everyone out forever.

It means giving yourself enough space to understand what's happening inside you.

And that brings me to something else I've been thinking about...

Self-awareness.

Sometimes our own thinking can become our biggest obstacle.

And when we're not self-aware, it's incredibly easy to blame everyone and everything around us instead of asking:

"Wait...what part am I playing in this?"

So here's my question for you:

Are YOU self-aware?

Can you call yourself out?

Please reflect on your own behavior and keep it 100% with yourself.

Not just mindful...

Self-aware.

🤔

Actually...

That sounds like a pretty good topic for my next blog—or maybe the next podcast.

Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌

Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾‍♀️

Ego, Pride, and YOU: Knowing the Difference

Godd3ss Aisha

True Story

“Aye, Aisha, I bet you can’t take these last two shots!”

Me:

“Bet I can!”

One slam. 🥃

Two slam. 🥃

(Thinking)

“Don’t call me out…I’m bout this life!” 😂

“Now what?!”

A little later…

“Uhh, my girl is trippin. Can you give me a ride home?”

Me:

“Bet. Let me get my keys.”

Then that little voice inside started talking…

“Now, Aisha…you know good and well you have no business driving. Make some food, chill for a while, then take him home.”

Then came the outside voice:

“Ayyye, you good though, right? I know those shots ain’t got you?”

Me:

“Oh yeah, I’m good. Just gotta find my keys.”

Inside voice again:

“Aisha…don’t do it.”

My response?

“Shiiid…let’s go. Besides, I need cigarettes anyway. I’ve done this before. This is nothing new.”

Found my keys.

Started driving.

“Make a left on Murray.”

Then…

🚨 Woooop Woooop 🚨

👀👀👀

Damn.

The police. 🤦🏾‍♀️

“License, registration, and proof of insurance, please.”

Now what?

This actually happened to me.

As I reflect back on my life, I think about the choices I made and, more importantly…

Why I made them.

When I really started digging deep, I realized that my ego and my pride played a major role in many of the decisions that led me into difficult situations.

Let’s break it down.

Ego: The First Responder

I realized that in many of my unfortunate situations, my ego was always the first one to show up.

Look back at the story:

“I bet you can’t take these last two shots.”

Who answered first?

My ego.

“Bet I can.”

Not logic.

Not wisdom.

Not my higher self.

Ego.

The part of me that felt challenged.

The part that felt like I had something to prove.

Pride: The Enforcer

Now pride?

Whew. 😂

I call pride the enforcer.

Pride came in right behind ego, saying:

“I’m bout that life.”

“You’ve done this before.”

“Today isn’t any different.”

Pride will have you defending a decision that deep down you already know isn’t the right one.

Unless you recognize it.

Then There Was ME

The real me was there too.

The calm voice.

The wise voice.

The voice saying:

“Aisha…you know you shouldn’t do this.”

🤔🤔🤔

So why didn’t I listen?

Why did I let ego and pride take control and end up with a ticket and AA classes?

When I was honest with myself, the answer was simple:

I wanted people to think I was “about that life.”

I wanted validation.

🤦🏾‍♀️

There goes that word again…

Validation.

I didn’t realize how much seeking others' approval was influencing my decisions.

So I started looking back at different moments in my life.

Different choices.

Different situations.

And I noticed a pattern.

Ego spoke first.

Pride backed it up.

And my true self?

My wisdom?

My intuition?

She was usually the quiet voice I ignored.

So I made a change.

I started pausing.

Thinking.

Processing.

Because we’ve all had those moments where that reasonable voice shows up and says:

“Maybe rethink this,”

I call that voice my higher self.

The Goddess I strive to become every day. 💚

Sounds funny, maybe…

But it works.

I started listening to her.

Even now in 2026, I catch myself.

I call myself out in my own thoughts.

I pause before reacting.

I ask:

“Who is speaking right now?”

Because usually, when we react instantly out of anger, fear, embarrassment, or a need to prove something…

That’s ego.

Now, every situation is different.

But learning to recognize your ego before it takes control can change everything.

Some decisions last five minutes.

Some decisions affect your entire life.

So before you respond…

Before you react…

Before you feel the need to prove yourself…

Ask one honest question:

Who is showing up right now?

YOU?

EGO?

Or PRIDE?

Only you truly know the answer.

If this message connects with you, share it with someone you love and care about. Someone may need this reminder before ego makes the next decision.

Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾‍♀️