Solitude: Sometimes Healing Requires Me to Be Alone
Godd3ss Aisha
If you've been following my blogs lately, you already know I've been spending some time in solitude.
Not isolation.
Not hiding from the world.
Not being antisocial. 😂
Solitude.
And wouldn't you know it, while I've been on this journey of going inward, Londrelle has a track called “Solitude” from Self-Heal that speaks directly to what I've been experiencing.
Sometimes the Universe isn't subtle. 😂
🎧 Listen to “Solitude” by Londrelle on Spotify:
Being Alone Used to Scare Me
I've talked about this before.
There was a time in my life when being alone was something I avoided.
I stayed busy.
I stayed connected.
I stayed in relationships longer than I should have.
I surrounded myself with noise because silence meant I might actually have to sit with...
ME.
And sitting with myself meant eventually having to deal with everything I had pushed down.
Pain.
Fear.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Old memories.
Questions I didn't necessarily want answers to.
Yeah...
Turn the TV back on. 😂
But I've learned something.
There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.
And there is definitely a difference between isolation and intentional solitude.
Silence Has a Way of Getting Loud
When I remove the distractions, something interesting happens.
My thoughts get louder.
My Higher Self gets louder.
And unfortunately...
My Ego gets louder too. 🙄
Higher Self: We need to talk.
Me: Can we schedule this for next Tuesday?
Higher Self: No.
😂😂😂
That's what solitude has been teaching me.
When I'm constantly scrolling, watching television, talking to people, answering messages, listening to music, or simply keeping myself occupied, I can avoid certain conversations with myself.
But when everything gets quiet?
There I am.
No filter.
No audience.
No distractions.
Just ME.
Solitude Isn't Punishment
I used to think being alone meant something was missing.
Now I'm beginning to understand that sometimes being alone creates the space for me to discover what I've been missing within myself.
That's why Londrelle's Solitude resonates with me.
It reminds me that being alone can be sacred.
I can breathe.
I can meditate.
I can journal.
I can pray.
I can stretch.
I can sit outside.
I can listen.
And sometimes I don't have to do anything at all.
Imagine that.
No productivity.
No checklist.
No social media post.
No solving everybody else's problems.
Just breathing and existing.
For somebody who always feels like she should be doing something...
That's a whole spiritual assignment. 😂
I Don't Have to Run From Myself
That's probably been one of my biggest realizations.
I actually enjoy my own company now.
Whew.
Six years ago, I don't know if I could have said that.
Today?
I can sit quietly in my house with the AC humming and be okay.
I don't need somebody beside me every second.
I don't need a notification.
I don't need validation from anyone.
I don't need to create chaos just because peace feels unfamiliar.
I can be.
And the more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Read that again. 👀
The more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Sometimes Healing Is Quiet
We often imagine healing as some huge breakthrough.
The tears.
The revelation.
The dramatic moment when everything suddenly makes sense.
Sometimes it is.
But I'm learning that healing can also be incredibly quiet.
Sometimes healing is me recognizing a pattern.
Sometimes it's me deciding not to respond.
Sometimes it's me setting a boundary.
Sometimes it's me sitting with an uncomfortable emotion instead of immediately trying to escape it.
Sometimes it's simply realizing:
I don't have to carry this anymore.
No ceremony.
No announcement.
No Facebook status. 😂
I release it.
Solitude Is Helping Me Hear Myself Again
Between Londrelle's music and my own recent decision to “Go Inside,” I'm realizing how important intentional quiet has become for me.
Because when the outside world gets quiet enough...
I can hear myself.
Not my Ego.
Not social media.
Not everybody else's expectations.
ME.
My intuition.
My Higher Self.
My needs.
My boundaries.
My truth.
And sometimes the answer I've been looking for wasn't somewhere out in the world.
It was sitting quietly inside me waiting for everything else to shut up. 😌
I Am Learning to Sit With Me
I'm not saying I'm going to disappear into the mountains and become a monk.
Let's not get carried away. 😂
I still enjoy people.
I still enjoy music.
I still enjoy laughing, talking, writing, sharing, and connecting.
But I'm learning that I need time when none of those things are required.
Time where I can exist with myself.
Because solitude isn't where I lose connection.
Sometimes...
Solitude is where I reconnect.
With my thoughts.
With my body.
With my spirit.
With my Higher Self.
With The Most High.
And most importantly...
With ME.
So today, my mantra is simple:
I am comfortable in my own presence.
I am safe in stillness.
I am listening to myself.
I am protecting my peace.
I am healing.
And I don't have to rush any of it.
Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is sit quietly...
And let myself be. 💚
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
Solitude: Sometimes You Have to Go Inside
True Story — 8.18.26
(Higher Self in bold)
I'm scrolling through the TV guide...
Forensic Files. 🤔
"Okay...let's solve the case."
Scroll some more...
Unsolved Mysteries.
👀 Ohhhh yeah.
After finishing both shows—and obviously solving the cases in my mind 🙂😂—I noticed something.
I couldn't stop thinking about the stories.
Remember why you stopped watching shows like this? You absorb the trauma like it's yours.
🤔🤔🤔
She had a point.
I started thinking about the past few days and realized I'd been entertaining a LOT of negativity, especially on social media.
🚫 PAUSE. 🚫
Why am I doing this?
What's really going on?
You already know. You've been here before.
Do I dare say it?
Depression. 🥺
My first reaction was denial.
"Wait...when I was depressed back in the day, I drank and cried. I'm not doing either of those things."
True. But look at what you ARE doing. You're entertaining low-vibrational things and starting to become comfortable there.
😔
Ouch.
But she was right.
I was sleeping nine or ten hours.
I was waking between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning feeling like I needed to go outside.
I wasn't feeling like myself.
And deep down...
I knew it.
Time to Go Inside
That's when I decided that beginning 8.22.26, I was going into solitude.
I call it:
Going Inside.
For me, that meant pulling back from everything so I could figure out what was happening within myself.
No social media.
No hanging out.
No unnecessary phone calls.
No constant communication.
Just...
Me.
Six years ago, that idea would've terrified me.
I've stayed in relationships longer than I should have simply because I was afraid of my own company.
Now?
I knew solitude was exactly what I needed.
I sent an email to Niel and Goddess Alicia letting them know I needed some time to get myself together.
Then, when my husband left for work, I sat.
No music.
No television.
Just me...
And the AC. 😂
Eventually, my Higher Self asked:
What's wrong?
🥺
"I'm not where I want to be in life."
"I want more."
"I feel stagnant."
There it was.
The truth.
Patience, Aisha
My Higher Self answered:
Patience, Aisha.
Not everything happens according to your timeline. Take this opportunity to practice gratitude for what you DO have.
You're learning patience.
You're learning how to love unconditionally.
And whether you realize it or not, your writing has helped people.
Keep going.
Things will work themselves out.
My response?
"But..."
😂
No buts.
Patience, Aisha.
And if I'm keeping it 💯, I didn't like how I'd been feeling.
I also knew something was wrong when I started gravitating toward those shows and negative content again.
Of course, Ego had an explanation:
"Nahhh, you're good. You're just switching things up. Besides...when was the last time you solved a case?"
😂😂😂
Nice try, Ego.
What Solitude Gave Me
Every Day, I got up and intentionally spent time alone.
I practiced breath work.
I started working out again.
I sat with my thoughts instead of trying to drown them out with noise.
And slowly, things started making sense.
Solitude gave me the space to examine my recent actions and, more importantly, understand why I was doing them.
That's why I call it Going Inside.
Because sometimes the answers we're desperately searching for everywhere else aren't out there.
They're already inside us.
Today is 8.27.26.
Originally, I said I wasn't coming back until September 1st.
But here I am...
Writing. 💚
Once I acknowledged what I was feeling, broke it down, and started working through it, I realized I didn't need to disappear until some arbitrary date.
I felt compelled to write.
So I listened.
I'm not going to intentionally keep myself away from something that helps me feel like myself simply because I picked a date on a calendar.
Solitude Isn't Isolation
There's an important difference.
For me, solitude was intentional.
I wasn't trying to hide from life.
I was creating enough quiet to hear myself again.
Sometimes we need that.
But if you're experiencing persistent sadness, major changes in sleep, hopelessness, or other symptoms that aren't improving, solitude doesn't have to mean handling everything alone. Reaching out to someone you trust or a mental-health professional can be part of taking care of yourself too.
Going inside doesn't mean shutting everyone out forever.
It means giving yourself enough space to understand what's happening inside you.
And that brings me to something else I've been thinking about...
Self-awareness.
Sometimes our own thinking can become our biggest obstacle.
And when we're not self-aware, it's incredibly easy to blame everyone and everything around us instead of asking:
"Wait...what part am I playing in this?"
So here's my question for you:
Are YOU self-aware?
Can you call yourself out?
Please reflect on your own behavior and keep it 100% with yourself.
Not just mindful...
Self-aware.
🤔
Actually...
That sounds like a pretty good topic for my next blog—or maybe the next podcast.
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️