Solitude: Sometimes Healing Requires Me to Be Alone
Godd3ss Aisha
If you've been following my blogs lately, you already know I've been spending some time in solitude.
Not isolation.
Not hiding from the world.
Not being antisocial. 😂
Solitude.
And wouldn't you know it, while I've been on this journey of going inward, Londrelle has a track called “Solitude” from Self-Heal that speaks directly to what I've been experiencing.
Sometimes the Universe isn't subtle. 😂
🎧 Listen to “Solitude” by Londrelle on Spotify:
Being Alone Used to Scare Me
I've talked about this before.
There was a time in my life when being alone was something I avoided.
I stayed busy.
I stayed connected.
I stayed in relationships longer than I should have.
I surrounded myself with noise because silence meant I might actually have to sit with...
ME.
And sitting with myself meant eventually having to deal with everything I had pushed down.
Pain.
Fear.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Old memories.
Questions I didn't necessarily want answers to.
Yeah...
Turn the TV back on. 😂
But I've learned something.
There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.
And there is definitely a difference between isolation and intentional solitude.
Silence Has a Way of Getting Loud
When I remove the distractions, something interesting happens.
My thoughts get louder.
My Higher Self gets louder.
And unfortunately...
My Ego gets louder too. 🙄
Higher Self: We need to talk.
Me: Can we schedule this for next Tuesday?
Higher Self: No.
😂😂😂
That's what solitude has been teaching me.
When I'm constantly scrolling, watching television, talking to people, answering messages, listening to music, or simply keeping myself occupied, I can avoid certain conversations with myself.
But when everything gets quiet?
There I am.
No filter.
No audience.
No distractions.
Just ME.
Solitude Isn't Punishment
I used to think being alone meant something was missing.
Now I'm beginning to understand that sometimes being alone creates the space for me to discover what I've been missing within myself.
That's why Londrelle's Solitude resonates with me.
It reminds me that being alone can be sacred.
I can breathe.
I can meditate.
I can journal.
I can pray.
I can stretch.
I can sit outside.
I can listen.
And sometimes I don't have to do anything at all.
Imagine that.
No productivity.
No checklist.
No social media post.
No solving everybody else's problems.
Just breathing and existing.
For somebody who always feels like she should be doing something...
That's a whole spiritual assignment. 😂
I Don't Have to Run From Myself
That's probably been one of my biggest realizations.
I actually enjoy my own company now.
Whew.
Six years ago, I don't know if I could have said that.
Today?
I can sit quietly in my house with the AC humming and be okay.
I don't need somebody beside me every second.
I don't need a notification.
I don't need validation from anyone.
I don't need to create chaos just because peace feels unfamiliar.
I can be.
And the more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Read that again. 👀
The more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Sometimes Healing Is Quiet
We often imagine healing as some huge breakthrough.
The tears.
The revelation.
The dramatic moment when everything suddenly makes sense.
Sometimes it is.
But I'm learning that healing can also be incredibly quiet.
Sometimes healing is me recognizing a pattern.
Sometimes it's me deciding not to respond.
Sometimes it's me setting a boundary.
Sometimes it's me sitting with an uncomfortable emotion instead of immediately trying to escape it.
Sometimes it's simply realizing:
I don't have to carry this anymore.
No ceremony.
No announcement.
No Facebook status. 😂
I release it.
Solitude Is Helping Me Hear Myself Again
Between Londrelle's music and my own recent decision to “Go Inside,” I'm realizing how important intentional quiet has become for me.
Because when the outside world gets quiet enough...
I can hear myself.
Not my Ego.
Not social media.
Not everybody else's expectations.
ME.
My intuition.
My Higher Self.
My needs.
My boundaries.
My truth.
And sometimes the answer I've been looking for wasn't somewhere out in the world.
It was sitting quietly inside me waiting for everything else to shut up. 😌
I Am Learning to Sit With Me
I'm not saying I'm going to disappear into the mountains and become a monk.
Let's not get carried away. 😂
I still enjoy people.
I still enjoy music.
I still enjoy laughing, talking, writing, sharing, and connecting.
But I'm learning that I need time when none of those things are required.
Time where I can exist with myself.
Because solitude isn't where I lose connection.
Sometimes...
Solitude is where I reconnect.
With my thoughts.
With my body.
With my spirit.
With my Higher Self.
With The Most High.
And most importantly...
With ME.
So today, my mantra is simple:
I am comfortable in my own presence.
I am safe in stillness.
I am listening to myself.
I am protecting my peace.
I am healing.
And I don't have to rush any of it.
Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is sit quietly...
And let myself be. 💚
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
