Solitude: Sometimes Healing Requires Me to Be Alone
Godd3ss Aisha
If you've been following my blogs lately, you already know I've been spending some time in solitude.
Not isolation.
Not hiding from the world.
Not being antisocial. 😂
Solitude.
And wouldn't you know it, while I've been on this journey of going inward, Londrelle has a track called “Solitude” from Self-Heal that speaks directly to what I've been experiencing.
Sometimes the Universe isn't subtle. 😂
🎧 Listen to “Solitude” by Londrelle on Spotify:
Being Alone Used to Scare Me
I've talked about this before.
There was a time in my life when being alone was something I avoided.
I stayed busy.
I stayed connected.
I stayed in relationships longer than I should have.
I surrounded myself with noise because silence meant I might actually have to sit with...
ME.
And sitting with myself meant eventually having to deal with everything I had pushed down.
Pain.
Fear.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Old memories.
Questions I didn't necessarily want answers to.
Yeah...
Turn the TV back on. 😂
But I've learned something.
There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.
And there is definitely a difference between isolation and intentional solitude.
Silence Has a Way of Getting Loud
When I remove the distractions, something interesting happens.
My thoughts get louder.
My Higher Self gets louder.
And unfortunately...
My Ego gets louder too. 🙄
Higher Self: We need to talk.
Me: Can we schedule this for next Tuesday?
Higher Self: No.
😂😂😂
That's what solitude has been teaching me.
When I'm constantly scrolling, watching television, talking to people, answering messages, listening to music, or simply keeping myself occupied, I can avoid certain conversations with myself.
But when everything gets quiet?
There I am.
No filter.
No audience.
No distractions.
Just ME.
Solitude Isn't Punishment
I used to think being alone meant something was missing.
Now I'm beginning to understand that sometimes being alone creates the space for me to discover what I've been missing within myself.
That's why Londrelle's Solitude resonates with me.
It reminds me that being alone can be sacred.
I can breathe.
I can meditate.
I can journal.
I can pray.
I can stretch.
I can sit outside.
I can listen.
And sometimes I don't have to do anything at all.
Imagine that.
No productivity.
No checklist.
No social media post.
No solving everybody else's problems.
Just breathing and existing.
For somebody who always feels like she should be doing something...
That's a whole spiritual assignment. 😂
I Don't Have to Run From Myself
That's probably been one of my biggest realizations.
I actually enjoy my own company now.
Whew.
Six years ago, I don't know if I could have said that.
Today?
I can sit quietly in my house with the AC humming and be okay.
I don't need somebody beside me every second.
I don't need a notification.
I don't need validation from anyone.
I don't need to create chaos just because peace feels unfamiliar.
I can be.
And the more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Read that again. 👀
The more comfortable I become with myself, the less willing I am to sacrifice my peace to avoid being alone.
Sometimes Healing Is Quiet
We often imagine healing as some huge breakthrough.
The tears.
The revelation.
The dramatic moment when everything suddenly makes sense.
Sometimes it is.
But I'm learning that healing can also be incredibly quiet.
Sometimes healing is me recognizing a pattern.
Sometimes it's me deciding not to respond.
Sometimes it's me setting a boundary.
Sometimes it's me sitting with an uncomfortable emotion instead of immediately trying to escape it.
Sometimes it's simply realizing:
I don't have to carry this anymore.
No ceremony.
No announcement.
No Facebook status. 😂
I release it.
Solitude Is Helping Me Hear Myself Again
Between Londrelle's music and my own recent decision to “Go Inside,” I'm realizing how important intentional quiet has become for me.
Because when the outside world gets quiet enough...
I can hear myself.
Not my Ego.
Not social media.
Not everybody else's expectations.
ME.
My intuition.
My Higher Self.
My needs.
My boundaries.
My truth.
And sometimes the answer I've been looking for wasn't somewhere out in the world.
It was sitting quietly inside me waiting for everything else to shut up. 😌
I Am Learning to Sit With Me
I'm not saying I'm going to disappear into the mountains and become a monk.
Let's not get carried away. 😂
I still enjoy people.
I still enjoy music.
I still enjoy laughing, talking, writing, sharing, and connecting.
But I'm learning that I need time when none of those things are required.
Time where I can exist with myself.
Because solitude isn't where I lose connection.
Sometimes...
Solitude is where I reconnect.
With my thoughts.
With my body.
With my spirit.
With my Higher Self.
With The Most High.
And most importantly...
With ME.
So today, my mantra is simple:
I am comfortable in my own presence.
I am safe in stillness.
I am listening to myself.
I am protecting my peace.
I am healing.
And I don't have to rush any of it.
Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is sit quietly...
And let myself be. 💚
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
Eye Am That I Am: The Words I Speak to Myself Become My Mantra
Godd3ss Aisha
There are songs I listen to...
And then there are songs I feel.
Toni Jones' "Eye Am That I Am" is one of those for me.
🎧 Listen to "Eye Am That I Am" by Toni Jones on Spotify:
Released in 2020 as part of her I See Me Mantras album, this isn't what I would consider a traditional song.
It's affirmation music.
It's something I listen to when I need to reconnect with ME.
And lately, I've been thinking a lot about exactly that.
What Do I Say About Myself?
I've talked about affirmations before, but lately I've been paying more attention to how I describe myself—especially when nobody else is around.
I can spend entirely too much time thinking about what other people think of me.
Do they like me?
Do they respect me?
Do they think I'm attractive?
Successful?
Smart?
Good enough?
But there's another opinion that matters even more.
MINE.
If I'm constantly telling myself:
"I'm not good enough."
"Nothing ever works out for me."
"I can't do this."
Eventually, those words can begin shaping how I see myself.
That's why I love the message I take from "I Am That I Am."
Instead of waiting for someone else to tell me who I am...
I tell myself.
I Look in the Mirror 👀
If you've been following these blogs, you already know I've spent some serious time looking in that mirror lately. 😂
Sometimes there were affirmations.
Sometimes there were tears.
And sometimes my Higher Self had to call me out on my own 💩.
But that's part of becoming self-aware.
I have to be willing to see myself.
Not the person social media sees.
Not the person my family sees.
Not the person other people expect me to be.
ME.
The beautiful parts.
The complicated parts.
The healed parts.
And yes...
The parts that still need a little work.
They all belong to me.
I AM...
Two incredibly powerful words.
Because what I choose to put after them matters.
I am powerful.
I am worthy.
I am abundant.
I am capable.
I am growing.
I am learning.
I am enough.
And one I've had to remind myself of lately:
I am still becoming. 😌
I don't have to have everything figured out.
I don't have to be completely healed.
I don't need the perfect career, relationship, body, bank account, or life to appreciate who I am today.
I can love who I am right now while still working toward the woman I'm becoming.
My Words Matter
One of the things I appreciate about Toni Jones' affirmation music is how intentionally it uses words.
Music already affects my mood, so I'm learning to be more intentional about what I'm feeding my mind.
Every day, I'm surrounded by noise.
The news.
Social media.
Other people's opinions.
And sometimes the loudest negativity comes from...
Me.
So I'm learning to change that conversation.
Instead of:
"I can't."
I can.
Instead of:
"I'm not enough."
I am enough.
Instead of:
"Nothing is working."
I trust the process.
Instead of waiting for someone else to validate me...
I validate myself.
My Mantra
When I wake up, before I grab my phone and start scrolling, I can take a moment and remind myself who I am.
I can look into that mirror.
Really look.
And finish this sentence:
I AM ____________.
Not what my boss says.
Not what my partner says.
Not what my family thinks.
Not what some random person on social media decided.
What do I say?
And if saying something positive about myself feels uncomfortable...
Maybe that's exactly why I need to keep saying it.
Affirmations aren't about pretending my life is perfect.
They're about changing the conversation I have with myself as I navigate an imperfect life.
So today, I'm reminding myself:
I am growing.
I am learning.
I am worthy.
I am protected.
I am becoming.
I am exactly where I need to be in this moment.
And most importantly...
I Am That I Am. 💚
That's my affirmation.
That's my reminder.
That's my conversation with myself.
And I'm going to keep saying it until the woman looking back at me in that mirror doesn't just say it...
She believes it.
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
Solitude: Sometimes You Have to Go Inside
True Story — 8.18.26
(Higher Self in bold)
I'm scrolling through the TV guide...
Forensic Files. 🤔
"Okay...let's solve the case."
Scroll some more...
Unsolved Mysteries.
👀 Ohhhh yeah.
After finishing both shows—and obviously solving the cases in my mind 🙂😂—I noticed something.
I couldn't stop thinking about the stories.
Remember why you stopped watching shows like this? You absorb the trauma like it's yours.
🤔🤔🤔
She had a point.
I started thinking about the past few days and realized I'd been entertaining a LOT of negativity, especially on social media.
🚫 PAUSE. 🚫
Why am I doing this?
What's really going on?
You already know. You've been here before.
Do I dare say it?
Depression. 🥺
My first reaction was denial.
"Wait...when I was depressed back in the day, I drank and cried. I'm not doing either of those things."
True. But look at what you ARE doing. You're entertaining low-vibrational things and starting to become comfortable there.
😔
Ouch.
But she was right.
I was sleeping nine or ten hours.
I was waking between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning feeling like I needed to go outside.
I wasn't feeling like myself.
And deep down...
I knew it.
Time to Go Inside
That's when I decided that beginning 8.22.26, I was going into solitude.
I call it:
Going Inside.
For me, that meant pulling back from everything so I could figure out what was happening within myself.
No social media.
No hanging out.
No unnecessary phone calls.
No constant communication.
Just...
Me.
Six years ago, that idea would've terrified me.
I've stayed in relationships longer than I should have simply because I was afraid of my own company.
Now?
I knew solitude was exactly what I needed.
I sent an email to Niel and Goddess Alicia letting them know I needed some time to get myself together.
Then, when my husband left for work, I sat.
No music.
No television.
Just me...
And the AC. 😂
Eventually, my Higher Self asked:
What's wrong?
🥺
"I'm not where I want to be in life."
"I want more."
"I feel stagnant."
There it was.
The truth.
Patience, Aisha
My Higher Self answered:
Patience, Aisha.
Not everything happens according to your timeline. Take this opportunity to practice gratitude for what you DO have.
You're learning patience.
You're learning how to love unconditionally.
And whether you realize it or not, your writing has helped people.
Keep going.
Things will work themselves out.
My response?
"But..."
😂
No buts.
Patience, Aisha.
And if I'm keeping it 💯, I didn't like how I'd been feeling.
I also knew something was wrong when I started gravitating toward those shows and negative content again.
Of course, Ego had an explanation:
"Nahhh, you're good. You're just switching things up. Besides...when was the last time you solved a case?"
😂😂😂
Nice try, Ego.
What Solitude Gave Me
Every Day, I got up and intentionally spent time alone.
I practiced breath work.
I started working out again.
I sat with my thoughts instead of trying to drown them out with noise.
And slowly, things started making sense.
Solitude gave me the space to examine my recent actions and, more importantly, understand why I was doing them.
That's why I call it Going Inside.
Because sometimes the answers we're desperately searching for everywhere else aren't out there.
They're already inside us.
Today is 8.27.26.
Originally, I said I wasn't coming back until September 1st.
But here I am...
Writing. 💚
Once I acknowledged what I was feeling, broke it down, and started working through it, I realized I didn't need to disappear until some arbitrary date.
I felt compelled to write.
So I listened.
I'm not going to intentionally keep myself away from something that helps me feel like myself simply because I picked a date on a calendar.
Solitude Isn't Isolation
There's an important difference.
For me, solitude was intentional.
I wasn't trying to hide from life.
I was creating enough quiet to hear myself again.
Sometimes we need that.
But if you're experiencing persistent sadness, major changes in sleep, hopelessness, or other symptoms that aren't improving, solitude doesn't have to mean handling everything alone. Reaching out to someone you trust or a mental-health professional can be part of taking care of yourself too.
Going inside doesn't mean shutting everyone out forever.
It means giving yourself enough space to understand what's happening inside you.
And that brings me to something else I've been thinking about...
Self-awareness.
Sometimes our own thinking can become our biggest obstacle.
And when we're not self-aware, it's incredibly easy to blame everyone and everything around us instead of asking:
"Wait...what part am I playing in this?"
So here's my question for you:
Are YOU self-aware?
Can you call yourself out?
Please reflect on your own behavior and keep it 100% with yourself.
Not just mindful...
Self-aware.
🤔
Actually...
That sounds like a pretty good topic for my next blog—or maybe the next podcast.
Until next time, my beautiful souls. 😌
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
The Four Agreements: Four Simple Principles That Can Change Your Life
Godd3ss Aisha
True Story...
I remember the first time someone recommended The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
My first thought was...
"That book is so thin...what could he possibly have written in so few pages that's considered life-changing?" 🤔😂
So I opened it.
And I started reading.
As I made my way through each chapter, I found myself asking...
"Does this even apply to me?"
(My ego answered first. 😉)
Then I realized...
Oh yes.
It absolutely does.
The Four Agreements are simple:
💚 Be Impeccable With Your Word (Be honest and speak with integrity.)
💚 Don't Take Anything Personally
💚 Don't Make Assumptions
💚 Always Do Your Best
At first glance, you might think,
"I already do those things."
👀
But...
Do you really?
Think about this.
Have you ever talked to someone who's normally cheerful, but one day they seemed distant or short with you?
What was your first thought?
"Did I do something?"
"Are they mad at me?"
"What's their problem?"
Be honest...
Most of us have been there.
Now let's connect that to The Four Agreements.
Without even realizing it, we often:
✔️ Make assumptions.
✔️ Take things personally.
All because we never stopped
to ask,
"Are you okay?"
Instead, our minds start creating stories that may not even be true.
I've done it.
🤦🏾♀️
I've replayed conversations in my head.
Imagined scenarios.
Worked myself into feelings that were based on assumptions instead of facts.
Had I asked one question...
"Are you okay?"
I probably would've saved myself a whole lot of unnecessary emotions. 😂
Then there's the agreement about doing your best.
I'll be honest...
Some mornings, that alarm goes off, and my first thought is,
"I'm just going to do enough to get through today."
We've all had those days.
But doing your best doesn't always mean giving 100%.
Sometimes your best is 100%.
Sometimes it's 80%.
Sometimes it's 40%.
Your best changes depending on what life is asking of you.
The important thing is that you show up honestly with whatever your best looks like that day.
So How Does This Affect Your Health?
More than you might think.
Making assumptions can lead to overthinking.
Overthinking can create stress.
Stress can become anxiety.
Anxiety can affect your sleep.
Your eating habits.
Your relationships.
Your mood.
It's a domino effect.
Sometimes protecting your peace begins with changing the stories you tell yourself.
That's one reason this little book has had such a big impact on so many people.
Its lessons are simple...
But applying them takes practice.
If you've never read The Four Agreements, I highly recommend it.
And if you have...
How's it going?
Have you truly made those agreements with yourself?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
If this message resonated with you, share it with someone you love and care about. It just might inspire them to look at life—and themselves—a little differently.
Until next time...
Stress, Anger, Anxiety & The World: How Do YOU Handle It?
Godd3ss Aisha
True Story...
(The thoughts in parentheses are conversations with my higher self.)
I'm scrolling...
A young life lost. 👀
Another story about racism.
Another act of violence.
Another heartbreaking headline. 🥺
Then...
A personal problem.
Bills are overdue. 🤦🏾♀️
My phone keeps buzzing.
My mind starts racing.
"What is going on?"
"Why is everything happening at once?"
"My friend needs me."
"How am I going to pay this bill?"
"Is he still in love?"
Then...
PAUSE.
My higher self interrupted the chaos.
"Aisha...pause."
We all know what it feels like.
Some of us are living this story right now.
The headlines.
The responsibilities.
The family struggles.
The uncertainty.
The grief.
The stress.
So let me ask you...
How are you handling it?
Are you angry?
Hurt?
Confused?
Overwhelmed?
Completely exhausted?
I understand. 💚
But how we respond makes all the difference.
Not only for ourselves...
But for everyone around us.
As I sat with my emotions, I realized something.
I hurt for families experiencing unimaginable loss.
As a mother, those stories hit differently.
I also found myself thinking about my own life.
Two years ago, I lost my uncle.
The last conversation we had wasn't the one I wish we'd had.
I remember raising my voice because he was being stubborn.
Before he passed, I apologized.
But he never had the chance to answer.
For a long time, I carried guilt.
I just wanted to hear him say,
"It's okay, Isha."
There was a time when I would've handled these emotions differently.
I would've drowned them in alcohol.
Maybe cried.
Maybe argued.
Then, I spent the next day apologizing and trying not to get sick.
🤦🏾♀️
But today...
Things are different.
My higher self asked me a few simple questions.
Stress
"Can you fix what's stressing you right now?"
No.
"Then why continue feeding it?"
Anger
"Why are you really angry?"
Because I'm a mother of two sons, and stories like these remind me how fragile life can be.
Then another question came.
"Is this your burden to carry?"
No.
"Have compassion. Pray for the family. But don't allow someone else's tragedy to consume your peace."
Then came the bills.
"Bills will always exist."
"Prioritize what you can today."
Then my uncle.
"He heard your apology."
"It's time to let go of the guilt."
😌
I took a deep breath.
Life will always present challenges.
The world will always have difficult headlines.
There will always be something trying to pull us into fear, anger, anxiety, or despair.
The question isn't whether those moments will come.
The question is...
How will you respond?
As I write this, I can literally feel my energy changing.
My vibration is rising.
Not because my problems disappeared.
But because I'm doing something that brings me peace.
I'm writing.
I'm reflecting.
I'm sharing.
And if these words help just one person feel less alone...
Then my heart is full.
We're all walking this journey called life together.
Let's stop feeding toxic cycles that keep us stuck.
Let's stop giving every headline permission to steal our peace.
Before you crash out...
Pause.
Before you react...
Pause.
Before you respond...
Breathe.
Go for a walk.
Pray.
Meditate.
Journal.
Talk with someone you trust.
Do whatever helps you return to yourself.
Because the energy you carry doesn't stay with you.
It touches your family.
Your friends.
Your coworkers.
Your community.
And your own health.
The next time life feels overwhelming...
Pause.
Process.
Breathe.
Then move forward with intention.
Update: As I finish writing this...
My vibration is higher.
And it feels so much better. 😌🧘🏾♀️
If this message resonated with you, share it with someone you love and care about. You never know who may need permission to pause today.
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
Ego, Pride, and YOU: Knowing the Difference
Godd3ss Aisha
True Story
“Aye, Aisha, I bet you can’t take these last two shots!”
Me:
“Bet I can!”
One slam. 🥃
Two slam. 🥃
(Thinking)
“Don’t call me out…I’m bout this life!” 😂
“Now what?!”
A little later…
“Uhh, my girl is trippin. Can you give me a ride home?”
Me:
“Bet. Let me get my keys.”
Then that little voice inside started talking…
“Now, Aisha…you know good and well you have no business driving. Make some food, chill for a while, then take him home.”
Then came the outside voice:
“Ayyye, you good though, right? I know those shots ain’t got you?”
Me:
“Oh yeah, I’m good. Just gotta find my keys.”
Inside voice again:
“Aisha…don’t do it.”
My response?
“Shiiid…let’s go. Besides, I need cigarettes anyway. I’ve done this before. This is nothing new.”
Found my keys.
Started driving.
“Make a left on Murray.”
Then…
🚨 Woooop Woooop 🚨
👀👀👀
Damn.
The police. 🤦🏾♀️
“License, registration, and proof of insurance, please.”
Now what?
This actually happened to me.
As I reflect back on my life, I think about the choices I made and, more importantly…
Why I made them.
When I really started digging deep, I realized that my ego and my pride played a major role in many of the decisions that led me into difficult situations.
Let’s break it down.
Ego: The First Responder
I realized that in many of my unfortunate situations, my ego was always the first one to show up.
Look back at the story:
“I bet you can’t take these last two shots.”
Who answered first?
My ego.
“Bet I can.”
Not logic.
Not wisdom.
Not my higher self.
Ego.
The part of me that felt challenged.
The part that felt like I had something to prove.
Pride: The Enforcer
Now pride?
Whew. 😂
I call pride the enforcer.
Pride came in right behind ego, saying:
“I’m bout that life.”
“You’ve done this before.”
“Today isn’t any different.”
Pride will have you defending a decision that deep down you already know isn’t the right one.
Unless you recognize it.
Then There Was ME
The real me was there too.
The calm voice.
The wise voice.
The voice saying:
“Aisha…you know you shouldn’t do this.”
🤔🤔🤔
So why didn’t I listen?
Why did I let ego and pride take control and end up with a ticket and AA classes?
When I was honest with myself, the answer was simple:
I wanted people to think I was “about that life.”
I wanted validation.
🤦🏾♀️
There goes that word again…
Validation.
I didn’t realize how much seeking others' approval was influencing my decisions.
So I started looking back at different moments in my life.
Different choices.
Different situations.
And I noticed a pattern.
Ego spoke first.
Pride backed it up.
And my true self?
My wisdom?
My intuition?
She was usually the quiet voice I ignored.
So I made a change.
I started pausing.
Thinking.
Processing.
Because we’ve all had those moments where that reasonable voice shows up and says:
“Maybe rethink this,”
I call that voice my higher self.
The Goddess I strive to become every day. 💚
Sounds funny, maybe…
But it works.
I started listening to her.
Even now in 2026, I catch myself.
I call myself out in my own thoughts.
I pause before reacting.
I ask:
“Who is speaking right now?”
Because usually, when we react instantly out of anger, fear, embarrassment, or a need to prove something…
That’s ego.
Now, every situation is different.
But learning to recognize your ego before it takes control can change everything.
Some decisions last five minutes.
Some decisions affect your entire life.
So before you respond…
Before you react…
Before you feel the need to prove yourself…
Ask one honest question:
Who is showing up right now?
YOU?
EGO?
Or PRIDE?
Only you truly know the answer.
If this message connects with you, share it with someone you love and care about. Someone may need this reminder before ego makes the next decision.
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
The Soundtrack of Your Life: What Frequency Are You Broadcasting?
Godd3ss Aisha
There was a time when I would watch the news and hear stories like, “Suburban teen commits crime, blames rap music.” Every time I heard that, I rolled my eyes.
Growing up on Hip-Hop and Gangster Rap, I thought, “How dare you blame music for someone’s choices? People know right from wrong.” For years, I believed music had absolutely no influence on me or my behavior.
Then, about six years ago, something changed.
I discovered an artist named Lizzy Jeff. Her music was inspiring, uplifting, and filled with messages that encouraged growth. It made me curious, so I created two playlists. One was called “Headed to Work,” packed with old-school rap, newer tracks, and everything in between. The other was called “Vibe,” filled with music that left me feeling peaceful, grounded, and inspired.
The difference was incredible.
On my drive to work, I’d blast my rap playlist. Before long, I was speeding, frustrated, dealing with road rage, and yelling at drivers who were too slow or making what I thought were ridiculous decisions.
After work, I’d switch to my “Vibe” playlist.
Suddenly, those same situations that had me fired up earlier in the day barely registered. Instead of anger, my reaction became, “Whatever.”
So I decided to experiment.
I switched the playlists around. Listening to the rap playlist again, I found myself not only following the lyrics but also replaying old arguments in my head. I started thinking about the friend who crossed me, or the way my boss spoke to me. My mind naturally drifted toward frustration and resentment.
That was my wake-up call.
What we listen to really can influence how we experience the world.
Ladies, we’ve all had that song playing while getting ready for a night out. Suddenly, we’re unstoppable, confident, and feeling like we own the room. Fellas, we’ve all had that one rap song that has you looking sideways at your significant other, wondering what they’re up to. 😂
Music has a way of shaping our emotions, our thoughts, and even our energy.
As I’ve grown in wisdom, I’ve realized I don’t want to constantly feed emotions that don’t serve me. I’ll still enjoy my old-school favorites every now and then—they’re part of who I am—but these days, if it isn’t uplifting, peaceful, healing, or maybe some smooth jazz, I usually don’t want to hear it.
We are all vibrating at our own unique frequency.
What we consistently consume becomes part of what we project back into the world. Whether it’s music, social media, television, or the conversations we surround ourselves with, it all contributes to the energy we carry.
So today, ask yourself one simple question:
What frequency are you broadcasting on?