Apologizing to Your Younger Self: Healing the Parts of You That You Left Behind
Godd3ss Aisha
True Story
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This blog discusses sexual assault and physical abuse. Please read with care. 💚
(Scrolling through Instagram...)
I came across a reel that asked:
"Have you ever apologized to your younger self?"
The woman talked about how, at some point in our lives, many of us abandoned a younger version of ourselves. Something happened, we put on our "big girl" or "big boy" pants, and we just kept moving.
🤔🤔🤔
I didn't even finish the reel.
My immediate response was:
"Hmmm...I've never abandoned myself."
🙄
My Higher Self had something to say about that.
Let's think about this.
My mind started traveling backward.
Germany.
Being a young girl.
My first crush.
The first time I experienced rejection.
🤔
"See? I'm good!"
Then came the thought I didn't want:
This may hurt, but if we're going to move forward, we have to revisit Shooks Run Park.
🥺
Deep breath.
The Moment Something Changed
I was 15.
My best friend was 14.
One evening, something happened to us that should never happen to anyone.
We were sexually assaulted.
I'm not going into the details because the details aren't what's important here.
What's important is what happened inside me afterward.
My life changed.
Looking back now, I realize that's when I told myself:
"Not again."
I built a wall.
And I kept going.
I didn't realize it at the time, but part of that 15-year-old girl stayed behind that wall.
Then my Higher Self pushed a little further.
If we're doing this, let's get it all out.
🥺
I thought about another chapter of my life—a physically abusive relationship.
And then came a realization that hurt:
Aisha, you were already wounded. You learned how to survive, but surviving isn't the same thing as healing.
Damn.
😡🥺
That's when the anger came.
But eventually another message followed:
It's time to forgive yourself.
Look at Her
Go to the mirror.
👀
I walked into the restroom and looked at myself.
And immediately...
Niagara Falls.
😭😭😭
It's okay. Look into your eyes. Apologize to her. Forgive her.
I could barely see myself through the tears.
Then I wrapped my arms around myself.
And I whispered:
"I'm sorry I left you."
"I forgive you."
🫂
Deep breath.
I looked back into that mirror.
Nothing magical happened.
The past didn't disappear.
But something felt different.
For once, I wasn't pretending everything was okay while hurting underneath.
I acknowledged her.
That young girl.
The scared girl.
The angry girl.
The girl who decided she had to become tough because being vulnerable didn't feel safe anymore.
I finally told her:
I see you.
Maybe Your Story Is Different
Your story may be nothing like mine—and I truly hope it isn't.
But I think many of us can identify a moment when something happened and we essentially said:
"Forget it. I'm moving on."
And we did.
We went to school.
Built careers.
Raised children.
Started relationships.
Paid bills.
Went to our 9-to-5s.
Laughed.
Loved.
Lived.
But somewhere underneath all of that may still be a wounded version of ourselves that we never went back for.
Maybe that's the person you need to talk to.
Reconnect With YOU
What I did in front of that mirror might sound strange to some people.
That's okay.
It helped me.
This journey belongs to you.
If you need to hug yourself...
Do it.
If you need to look into the mirror and encourage yourself...
Do it.
If you need to journal...
Cry...
Meditate...
Pray...
Or talk with someone you trust...
Do it.
And if revisiting painful experiences becomes overwhelming, there's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking support from a qualified mental-health professional who can help you work through them safely.
Healing isn't about pretending the past didn't happen.
For me, it's about reconnecting with every version of myself:
The broken me.
The angry me.
The scared me.
The timid me.
The strong me.
And saying:
"I recognize where I left you. I'm sorry. I'm here now."
😌
That realization helped me begin releasing some weight I'd carried for far too long.
It helped me look differently at boundaries.
At relationships.
At myself.
Most importantly, it reminded me that being strong doesn't mean never crying or never hurting.
Sometimes strength means finally allowing yourself to feel what you've spent years trying not to feel.
So here's my question:
Have you ever apologized to your younger self?
Maybe today is the day to have that conversation.
Give that younger version of yourself some grace.
Give them a hug.
And remind them...
You didn't forget them. You're coming back for them. 💚
Until next time.
Peace, Love & Light. 💚🧘🏾♀️
